Dear Lord,
Saturn came to me today and he said he will reward us for our efforts. I am just waiting and looking out for the salvation. Help me to keep my patience and my meditation. I must continue vibrating at the right frequency. Abundance, abundance, abundance.
I pray that our physical situation has been lifted. I'll offer up what I have promised to Saturn as well, a warm home, clean, neat and full. I shall go do my part after this or as Isaac desires, our work. And I will remember, abundance, abundance, abundance.
I am starting to feel really sleepy and lethargic. Where are you Lord Hanuman? I need your motivation and energy. Please stay with me. I know Saturn is here and he is cold but everything has its place and there is a reason for everything so I will just trust that it will all fall rightly into motion. Abundance, abundance, abundance.
Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
"lalechet im hazerem" go with the flow
Dear Lord,
Today's lesson is about detachment. One improvement I have definitely noted ever since the rudrakshas is that I am less neurotic than before. I am returning to my old self. Just Feeling, not overly Thinking. And I must thank you. There was a point where I thought I would go mad, like how my brother did. There seem no other way because I could not control the boundaries of my mind and there was no grounding it. All my brother need is truly some grounding. I think he has it now. I pray for him to always have it. Being Taurean, he truly needs a good home.
Soon I will be entirely free from being overtly involved in the mind. I think my bane was always the need to understand every single little thing possible and although that was also my gift, it made me extremely susceptible to becoming my brother as I try to understand him in his madness. And then how I am even without his presence in my life, so intense in the search for truth, so deeply intellectual in perspective, it was easy to go nuts.
I don't think there was anything wrong with my mind's work. What went wrong was the moment things became systematic rather than emotional. And emotion went out of me altogether. I was then detached in the worst way possible and what resulted was extreme nervousness and mounting flightiness. I was already such since I was a child. I wasn't one of those children who cried when they started the first day of school. In fact, I think I was the only child who didn't cry the whole of primary school. But I was whimsical, active, wild and naughty. That strain of emotional showing was fine but the endless return of the adult one where every thought led to nothing scared me to a nervous frenzy.
I thought nothing could save me but something did. And I realised that was more important than any material security. So I am very blessed. The whole turn of events ever since the craziness started helped me to find the flow back again. And here I am nearly at a close. I thank you Lord. You helped me with activity. You helped me with friends who reminded me how to flow. And now I have come full circle for I have returned to my own sense of flow. Not questioning it no longer. Questioning everything. But just being. And choosing my being. And knowing that my choice is the only truth for it heralds the truth.
PS: I pray that I have been delivered from the present worldly situation.
Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine
Today's lesson is about detachment. One improvement I have definitely noted ever since the rudrakshas is that I am less neurotic than before. I am returning to my old self. Just Feeling, not overly Thinking. And I must thank you. There was a point where I thought I would go mad, like how my brother did. There seem no other way because I could not control the boundaries of my mind and there was no grounding it. All my brother need is truly some grounding. I think he has it now. I pray for him to always have it. Being Taurean, he truly needs a good home.
Soon I will be entirely free from being overtly involved in the mind. I think my bane was always the need to understand every single little thing possible and although that was also my gift, it made me extremely susceptible to becoming my brother as I try to understand him in his madness. And then how I am even without his presence in my life, so intense in the search for truth, so deeply intellectual in perspective, it was easy to go nuts.
I don't think there was anything wrong with my mind's work. What went wrong was the moment things became systematic rather than emotional. And emotion went out of me altogether. I was then detached in the worst way possible and what resulted was extreme nervousness and mounting flightiness. I was already such since I was a child. I wasn't one of those children who cried when they started the first day of school. In fact, I think I was the only child who didn't cry the whole of primary school. But I was whimsical, active, wild and naughty. That strain of emotional showing was fine but the endless return of the adult one where every thought led to nothing scared me to a nervous frenzy.
I thought nothing could save me but something did. And I realised that was more important than any material security. So I am very blessed. The whole turn of events ever since the craziness started helped me to find the flow back again. And here I am nearly at a close. I thank you Lord. You helped me with activity. You helped me with friends who reminded me how to flow. And now I have come full circle for I have returned to my own sense of flow. Not questioning it no longer. Questioning everything. But just being. And choosing my being. And knowing that my choice is the only truth for it heralds the truth.
PS: I pray that I have been delivered from the present worldly situation.
Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
"Tzedakah" Charity
Dear Lord,
Thank you for helping me win yesterday. I am quite excited about tomorrow's draw and my intention is to continue efforts until I get some movement here. Perhaps even just Isaac contributing something will make the difference. I will go convince him to do so once I am done with this entry.
I feel like watching Sherlock Holmes later but that again is focusing on enjoyment rather than meditation. Especially at this point. We can only consider if somebody else asks us. And meanwhile I'll just keep on being generous to everybody I meet. I will try to give each person something every day. And even this I will do it with total absorption(kleetah).
I will begin with Isaac first by making him a cup of tea. I already told him that I will make when he wants it later. Now I shall go humour my friends. I am not sure what I can do for them. But I shall let it flow. This will be my next effort in our exchange of energies. Please be with me and answer my prayers soon.
Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine
Thank you for helping me win yesterday. I am quite excited about tomorrow's draw and my intention is to continue efforts until I get some movement here. Perhaps even just Isaac contributing something will make the difference. I will go convince him to do so once I am done with this entry.
I feel like watching Sherlock Holmes later but that again is focusing on enjoyment rather than meditation. Especially at this point. We can only consider if somebody else asks us. And meanwhile I'll just keep on being generous to everybody I meet. I will try to give each person something every day. And even this I will do it with total absorption(kleetah).
I will begin with Isaac first by making him a cup of tea. I already told him that I will make when he wants it later. Now I shall go humour my friends. I am not sure what I can do for them. But I shall let it flow. This will be my next effort in our exchange of energies. Please be with me and answer my prayers soon.
Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine
Monday, January 4, 2010
"El" Strength
Dear Lord,
I am in a weird state, lost because I am not sure what life is going to bring to me. It is exciting but then it could be familiar as well, and if it is the latter, it wouldn't be very good. And this time since it's so much worse than before, it could mean real doom. But I am honestly sick of it. I wouldn't have my mind going there. It is stupid. Everything is easy. I just need to flow. Be with me Lord. Be with me.
I am going to be confident. Everything has an answer even if it's not perfect to my desire at the initial stage. There's always so much to be thankful for. Like I am very thankful that the workers issue isn't raging on at the moment to my knowledge. And I am very thankful that we will be replenishing some dough today. I am also thankful that I get to have peace and quiet and time to myself right now.
I will work out every stress one at a time. I have to simplify, clarify, focus. What I promised you the other day about keeping to schedule, I have not managed to zoom in entirely. Please forgive me. My mind was messy. I will attempt to do so again starting now. But it wasn't that bad anyway. I was flowing and saying yes to the events you presented me.
I have to be more positive. What I did not like about my old faith is the way the believers allowed themselves to become superstitious, weak and self-righteous. I shall not become the same in my growing understanding of energy fields. I shall not be this whimpering person no more in my writings to you. I will write like whatever I desire is already here and everything's perfect.
Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine
I am in a weird state, lost because I am not sure what life is going to bring to me. It is exciting but then it could be familiar as well, and if it is the latter, it wouldn't be very good. And this time since it's so much worse than before, it could mean real doom. But I am honestly sick of it. I wouldn't have my mind going there. It is stupid. Everything is easy. I just need to flow. Be with me Lord. Be with me.
I am going to be confident. Everything has an answer even if it's not perfect to my desire at the initial stage. There's always so much to be thankful for. Like I am very thankful that the workers issue isn't raging on at the moment to my knowledge. And I am very thankful that we will be replenishing some dough today. I am also thankful that I get to have peace and quiet and time to myself right now.
I will work out every stress one at a time. I have to simplify, clarify, focus. What I promised you the other day about keeping to schedule, I have not managed to zoom in entirely. Please forgive me. My mind was messy. I will attempt to do so again starting now. But it wasn't that bad anyway. I was flowing and saying yes to the events you presented me.
I have to be more positive. What I did not like about my old faith is the way the believers allowed themselves to become superstitious, weak and self-righteous. I shall not become the same in my growing understanding of energy fields. I shall not be this whimpering person no more in my writings to you. I will write like whatever I desire is already here and everything's perfect.
Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine
Sunday, January 3, 2010
"Chaverim" Friends
Dear Lord,
I know Saturn said everything will be fine, but we didn't win again so I did lose faith. And things are getting more and more dire. We are trying our very best at the moment and it does not seem to be good enough. I am seeing death and destruction in so many directions and I am afraid. I know I should not succumb to this weakness. I should be strong, positive, confident. But I just want to be vulnerable now in this moment that I am speaking to you. So that a strong connection will be formed and as I continue to write, a sense of rebirth can be truly created.
It's been more than 40 days for both the 7 mukhi and the 8 mukhi. But there have been no real results. I asked the 7 for security and the 8 for miracles and to date, things are still very unstable and rather than having real luck, we have probably the worse end of the stick. Isaac went down to the car to head down to sell off my old laptop and then he realised the battery's dead because he left the car on since yesterday. We already have the demerit points and the hefty fine for this borrowed car. It's all bad news for our poor friend who lent us the car and a really stressful time for us to add to our stress.
The good part is that we have really good friends. Isaac called Kelvin to come help start the car and he's like over so quickly. And that Eway even lent us the car in the first place. Then tonight we have a dinner at Daniel's. They dunno how much all these things are helping us because no one knows the real extent of our situation or that we even have a situation, except us. It's a scary predicament to be so alone. And sometimes I suspect that if we actually did share the truth of what's happening, instead of helping us like how they are doing it all so comfortable now, they will shun us instead because it's too much trouble.
So now we can survive yet another day. Tomorrow there are confessions to be made to Eway and I dunno how bad that will be, but that's tomorrow. I am really learning to live day by day, moment by moment and it's a grand lesson truly. I am wondering whether I should go for the dinner after our meeting later or do a mahjong session. We need more cash. And there's enough to play. Maybe I cannot win others but I can win in mahjong? I shall ask the tarot again. Lord, please get us out of this situation. Please give me some sign that things are going to improve. Any real progress at all. I know the Gentleman's Club thing seems to be looking up and up all the time but I dunno if the rental can wait till it kicks off.
I shall continue to trust. There is always hope. And I will follow a strict timetable the rest of today in offer to you. Please be with me. Thank you.
Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine
I know Saturn said everything will be fine, but we didn't win again so I did lose faith. And things are getting more and more dire. We are trying our very best at the moment and it does not seem to be good enough. I am seeing death and destruction in so many directions and I am afraid. I know I should not succumb to this weakness. I should be strong, positive, confident. But I just want to be vulnerable now in this moment that I am speaking to you. So that a strong connection will be formed and as I continue to write, a sense of rebirth can be truly created.
It's been more than 40 days for both the 7 mukhi and the 8 mukhi. But there have been no real results. I asked the 7 for security and the 8 for miracles and to date, things are still very unstable and rather than having real luck, we have probably the worse end of the stick. Isaac went down to the car to head down to sell off my old laptop and then he realised the battery's dead because he left the car on since yesterday. We already have the demerit points and the hefty fine for this borrowed car. It's all bad news for our poor friend who lent us the car and a really stressful time for us to add to our stress.
The good part is that we have really good friends. Isaac called Kelvin to come help start the car and he's like over so quickly. And that Eway even lent us the car in the first place. Then tonight we have a dinner at Daniel's. They dunno how much all these things are helping us because no one knows the real extent of our situation or that we even have a situation, except us. It's a scary predicament to be so alone. And sometimes I suspect that if we actually did share the truth of what's happening, instead of helping us like how they are doing it all so comfortable now, they will shun us instead because it's too much trouble.
So now we can survive yet another day. Tomorrow there are confessions to be made to Eway and I dunno how bad that will be, but that's tomorrow. I am really learning to live day by day, moment by moment and it's a grand lesson truly. I am wondering whether I should go for the dinner after our meeting later or do a mahjong session. We need more cash. And there's enough to play. Maybe I cannot win others but I can win in mahjong? I shall ask the tarot again. Lord, please get us out of this situation. Please give me some sign that things are going to improve. Any real progress at all. I know the Gentleman's Club thing seems to be looking up and up all the time but I dunno if the rental can wait till it kicks off.
I shall continue to trust. There is always hope. And I will follow a strict timetable the rest of today in offer to you. Please be with me. Thank you.
Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Charging the Sigil
Dear Hanuman,
I am trying to charge my sigil. Please help me to do so in the process of this prayer. I really need this manifestation to come to pass. The desire that I sent out on the blue moon of yesterday has not returned to me and there is so much uncertainty in the air despite my own inner calm. I think my calm is sensitive though because Isaac's edginess gets to me fairly easily. Or maybe it's 'cos the smoke abstinence has started. And I am not exactly ready. But I will keep to it. It will be hard however. So many different things to concentrate on, or not concentrate on.
The same request I have asked of you such that I am praying to you everyday is the one the sigil is for and so for the magic of last night. Please deliver us from this material situation, help us to transcend the entire problem and be free from it forever. We are truly alone in this matter and have no one to ask but you. Can you please take us into your comforting arms? Show us that our idealism and philosophies are incredible but true.
So now, charge the sigil and then help me to forget it. Help it to be in my subconscious such that the manifestation may come to pass swiftly, easily and beautifully. I need to make this significant because things are getting dire. I cannot think all these negative things though, so as I forget, let me forget anything negative as well. Let me just feel good and happy, peaceful and comfortable.
Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine
I am trying to charge my sigil. Please help me to do so in the process of this prayer. I really need this manifestation to come to pass. The desire that I sent out on the blue moon of yesterday has not returned to me and there is so much uncertainty in the air despite my own inner calm. I think my calm is sensitive though because Isaac's edginess gets to me fairly easily. Or maybe it's 'cos the smoke abstinence has started. And I am not exactly ready. But I will keep to it. It will be hard however. So many different things to concentrate on, or not concentrate on.
The same request I have asked of you such that I am praying to you everyday is the one the sigil is for and so for the magic of last night. Please deliver us from this material situation, help us to transcend the entire problem and be free from it forever. We are truly alone in this matter and have no one to ask but you. Can you please take us into your comforting arms? Show us that our idealism and philosophies are incredible but true.
So now, charge the sigil and then help me to forget it. Help it to be in my subconscious such that the manifestation may come to pass swiftly, easily and beautifully. I need to make this significant because things are getting dire. I cannot think all these negative things though, so as I forget, let me forget anything negative as well. Let me just feel good and happy, peaceful and comfortable.
Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine
Friday, January 1, 2010
Ah-Vahr no more
Dear Lord,
Thank you for the wondrous New Year's eve. It was incredibly beautiful on the nicest beach in Singapore, next to a new pub where the style was perfect for the night I wanted, and enough friends to call it a party and not too many such that it was impossible to have moments with each of them well. And then the fabulous blue moon and the magical sky, the meditation, the spell, the lightsticks and the dancing.
I found my stillness again yesterday and it directly opposes ego which clarifies everything for me. The stillness teaches me everything - what to do now, what to do next, what is happening, why it is happening, what I want, how to get it, how not to get it. And most of all, the stillness helps the presence of each moment to be felt more strongly. Hence I have enjoyed every single moment of the night, savoured the symbollic meaning of everything, gathered all I can gather and heard the first song of the morning. And here I am going at the moment of the Now, enjoying myself in the recording of one beautiful night.
I have been trying to understand the narrowing down of things to harness genius, and I have seen that until my first prayer is answered, I should be focusing and praying on it everyday. I have said that I will write you everyday till I am delivered from this current situation, and now I shall add that one more - I shall not smoke until I have my first meal of the day after I wake. This will synchronise well with my desire to quit smoking by my coming birthday. It's going to be good.
Thank you that Jolene was so quick to respond to my request. And here we are still alive. You have never let us down, not once. We are still here. Tomorrow we will need to let go of some items. Things are tacky but then again, in my lethargic movements, everything's tacky. You will keep us safe, I know. You will keep us safe.
They want us to go play game with them. We half want to and half don't want to. We want to 'cos the game is fun and it is a friday after all. We don't want to 'cos we are tired and enjoy this sleeping pattern now thus not intending to ruin it in any way. Also, it is best we conserve our resources at this crucial point. Guide me to do what is best. Keep the stillness within me. I need you.
Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine
Thank you for the wondrous New Year's eve. It was incredibly beautiful on the nicest beach in Singapore, next to a new pub where the style was perfect for the night I wanted, and enough friends to call it a party and not too many such that it was impossible to have moments with each of them well. And then the fabulous blue moon and the magical sky, the meditation, the spell, the lightsticks and the dancing.
I found my stillness again yesterday and it directly opposes ego which clarifies everything for me. The stillness teaches me everything - what to do now, what to do next, what is happening, why it is happening, what I want, how to get it, how not to get it. And most of all, the stillness helps the presence of each moment to be felt more strongly. Hence I have enjoyed every single moment of the night, savoured the symbollic meaning of everything, gathered all I can gather and heard the first song of the morning. And here I am going at the moment of the Now, enjoying myself in the recording of one beautiful night.
I have been trying to understand the narrowing down of things to harness genius, and I have seen that until my first prayer is answered, I should be focusing and praying on it everyday. I have said that I will write you everyday till I am delivered from this current situation, and now I shall add that one more - I shall not smoke until I have my first meal of the day after I wake. This will synchronise well with my desire to quit smoking by my coming birthday. It's going to be good.
Thank you that Jolene was so quick to respond to my request. And here we are still alive. You have never let us down, not once. We are still here. Tomorrow we will need to let go of some items. Things are tacky but then again, in my lethargic movements, everything's tacky. You will keep us safe, I know. You will keep us safe.
They want us to go play game with them. We half want to and half don't want to. We want to 'cos the game is fun and it is a friday after all. We don't want to 'cos we are tired and enjoy this sleeping pattern now thus not intending to ruin it in any way. Also, it is best we conserve our resources at this crucial point. Guide me to do what is best. Keep the stillness within me. I need you.
Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
.jpg)