"Chaverim" Friends

Dear Lord,

I know Saturn said everything will be fine, but we didn't win again so I did lose faith. And things are getting more and more dire. We are trying our very best at the moment and it does not seem to be good enough. I am seeing death and destruction in so many directions and I am afraid. I know I should not succumb to this weakness. I should be strong, positive, confident. But I just want to be vulnerable now in this moment that I am speaking to you. So that a strong connection will be formed and as I continue to write, a sense of rebirth can be truly created.

It's been more than 40 days for both the 7 mukhi and the 8 mukhi. But there have been no real results. I asked the 7 for security and the 8 for miracles and to date, things are still very unstable and rather than having real luck, we have probably the worse end of the stick. Isaac went down to the car to head down to sell off my old laptop and then he realised the battery's dead because he left the car on since yesterday. We already have the demerit points and the hefty fine for this borrowed car. It's all bad news for our poor friend who lent us the car and a really stressful time for us to add to our stress.

The good part is that we have really good friends. Isaac called Kelvin to come help start the car and he's like over so quickly. And that Eway even lent us the car in the first place. Then tonight we have a dinner at Daniel's. They dunno how much all these things are helping us because no one knows the real extent of our situation or that we even have a situation, except us. It's a scary predicament to be so alone. And sometimes I suspect that if we actually did share the truth of what's happening, instead of helping us like how they are doing it all so comfortable now, they will shun us instead because it's too much trouble.

So now we can survive yet another day. Tomorrow there are confessions to be made to Eway and I dunno how bad that will be, but that's tomorrow. I am really learning to live day by day, moment by moment and it's a grand lesson truly. I am wondering whether I should go for the dinner after our meeting later or do a mahjong session. We need more cash. And there's enough to play. Maybe I cannot win others but I can win in mahjong? I shall ask the tarot again. Lord, please get us out of this situation. Please give me some sign that things are going to improve. Any real progress at all. I know the Gentleman's Club thing seems to be looking up and up all the time but I dunno if the rental can wait till it kicks off.

I shall continue to trust. There is always hope. And I will follow a strict timetable the rest of today in offer to you. Please be with me. Thank you.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine