Ah-Vahr no more

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the wondrous New Year's eve. It was incredibly beautiful on the nicest beach in Singapore, next to a new pub where the style was perfect for the night I wanted, and enough friends to call it a party and not too many such that it was impossible to have moments with each of them well. And then the fabulous blue moon and the magical sky, the meditation, the spell, the lightsticks and the dancing.

I found my stillness again yesterday and it directly opposes ego which clarifies everything for me. The stillness teaches me everything - what to do now, what to do next, what is happening, why it is happening, what I want, how to get it, how not to get it. And most of all, the stillness helps the presence of each moment to be felt more strongly. Hence I have enjoyed every single moment of the night, savoured the symbollic meaning of everything, gathered all I can gather and heard the first song of the morning. And here I am going at the moment of the Now, enjoying myself in the recording of one beautiful night.

I have been trying to understand the narrowing down of things to harness genius, and I have seen that until my first prayer is answered, I should be focusing and praying on it everyday. I have said that I will write you everyday till I am delivered from this current situation, and now I shall add that one more - I shall not smoke until I have my first meal of the day after I wake. This will synchronise well with my desire to quit smoking by my coming birthday. It's going to be good.

Thank you that Jolene was so quick to respond to my request. And here we are still alive. You have never let us down, not once. We are still here. Tomorrow we will need to let go of some items. Things are tacky but then again, in my lethargic movements, everything's tacky. You will keep us safe, I know. You will keep us safe.

They want us to go play game with them. We half want to and half don't want to. We want to 'cos the game is fun and it is a friday after all. We don't want to 'cos we are tired and enjoy this sleeping pattern now thus not intending to ruin it in any way. Also, it is best we conserve our resources at this crucial point. Guide me to do what is best. Keep the stillness within me. I need you.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine