I Stand By Me

Thank you that although there were no eggs, there was still something satisfying to eat like instant noodles. I am eating that right now actually and feeling really good about it. This might actually be better for me than bread and eggs because it is more filling and I have quite a lot of things to do before I make lunch later.

Thank you that I've realised that how to not get disconnected from the stream due to the emotions of others is to not need to be affirmed by these people. That detachment allows the state of abundance to keep on flowing and the ego to be disengaged.

Thank you that Isaac apologised for that flash of anger that arised from his worry due to time and the feeling of burden. It would mean a lot to me but as I am understanding the above, now feel no change in emotion because I do not need his niceness to me to validate who I am.

Thank you that I just had an inspiration of what coloured nails I should do next. Whitish-silverish - emphasizing my longish fingers and cool enough to create an effect like black would despite it being light coloured. That makes it creative and interesting for me.

I am glad that Isaac said it will only take about an hour to do up the proposal because the thought of it does make me feel quite lazy.

Aum Aem Hreem Kleem Chamundaya Yech

Dear Hanuman,

Thank you that I have all my limbs and in spite of the bad childhood I had emotionally, it is on a totally different level compared to real shit that happens all over the world with little children and their ruined little lives. I was blessed, loved and cherished.

Thank you that I have Isaac who is always with me, always true to me and loves me in the best way any intellectual could ever ask for. In my complains about the situation that I am in and the lameness of other people's love troubles, I have to look at the blessings in which I have that I take for granted now 'cos it's such a total given.

Thank you that yesterday I had the best sleep I've had for a long while. It was good and nice that it is just the beginning of having a bed everyday now for the rest of my life. I shall make sure this is so. And I am so thankful now for these little things that I have always taken for granted before.

Thank you that today because of the good sleep, I woke up feeling energized and so did some housework when I woke. It felt good to help out properly in the house. It's not a nice feeling to be thought of as lazy or not helping out at all. It's part of my Aquarian pride to be part of the parcel in this way.

I am very excited to go for food now. Let's see where this journey takes me.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa

Dear Lord,

Thank you that Ernesto called back. That was great... I am quite excited about performing and it is weird that tomorrow ended up with two so-called auditions now. I think it must be the obvious next step. I am going to flow with this whole thing and see how it goes...

Thank you that Francois called me albeit halfway. It will be good to do the gig with him because at least this means I have guitar accompaniment and I would really like to do him the favour since he came up with that nice compliment of asking me to sing with him first.

Thank you that Nick seems pretty keen on me and Isaac being involved in his band set up thingy. The banter two and fro on fb was hilarious to me, fun and hilarious. I shall go check what else has been said after I logged out, and see Nick tomorrow at his pub!

Thank you that it is now time for bed. I am quite, quite tired really and am looking forward to bed. I shall go clear the kitchen now and also use the toilet for down time. The land of dreams is already calling out to me and I am keen on doing some visualisation before I fall asleep altogether.

It is great that I have a tarot reading friend who can help to provide an objective insight to each reading.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine

om shrim maha lakshmi yei swaha

Dear Lord,

Thank you that A was so sweet and so easy about it all. It makes me feel great that we have friends like these. And he's fucking definitely on my list now. I will not forget this... so it's J, A, S, E and B. Having this list spurs me on further because it is a good list not an enemy list which will be damaging.

Thank you that the room is much neater and cleaner now. I shall make it even more so later after we've eaten. I've noticed a relation to keeping my roots maintained and travelling further in life, and also that when it is not, negativity is attracted to me.

Thank you that T is obviously affected that Is and I are not actively involved in the group nowadays. It is good that somebody feels the difference and that we are missed. Maybe we should have spoken up but then it will be harder to get the investment in.

Thank you for the numbers that you gave me earlier and also that we missed today's. I know that monday's mine. You promised us and I know you will deliver. I shall read up more about you now... find out more, see what else I can be inspired by. There's so much I do not know...

It is good that A has affirmed he'd be doing e transfer in an hour or so... and it's done!

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine

"Biswas"

Dear Lord,

Thank you that I lost such a big amount that it was normal to do what I did, otherwise, it would have been extremely stressful and embarrassing. Also, I think there was a reason for things to turn out as such so that perhaps I can play again and win enough for what we need or make them clients for the other source of income.

Thank you the dude was nice enough to send me home... and overall the hangout with them after the game was pretty nice. There was a difference and I felt like the smokes hindered my full participation with the new. I am definitely not going to smoke anymore.

Thank you that Fiona was nice enough to offer to cover for me first. And generally she was considerate towards me and all that. That felt nice even though we ain't that close, perhaps especially so. And she offered so much food and cigarettes, it was no joke really.

Thank you that there's still enough to move around tomorrow and possibly to do what we were going actually going to do today before the mahjong waylaid us. I was wrong, what we were going to do was actually more of a confirmation of the final deal than the game.

I realise now that complacency and faith can be easily mixed up. Confidence and ego have to be carefully separated.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine

"Shanti"

Dear Lord,

Thank you that we have hung the clothes up already so its not going to be another pile of stinky laundry. Also, the infected clothes are outside waiting to be sunned which separates the good laundry from the bad and also the smells. After the sunning, if the clothes are still smelly, I will personally handwash them.

Thank you that I see now that it started from my own lack of self-discipline and weakness that has caused a rift between me and Isaac. It started from asking him to cook for me when I can easily do it myself. Which got him feeling like he's being made to do a lot of things while what he actually wants to do is to go for a run.

Thank you that W has been swift enough to respond to the matter at hand. Now all we need to do is to figure out how to contribute our share of the bargain. After detoxing from the recent episode we shall begin our meeting and discussion about the matter.

Thank you that the mantra that Isaac and I did together earlier appeared to be very powerful. I can totally feel a sensation of throbbing slightly beneath the surface of my forehead. I am absolutely excited to go through a true spiritual experience and cannot wait for day three.

It is good that Isaac tried to patch things back halfway through our fit. Another thing to notice about my ego.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"Shalom"

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the fact that the fear of having not enough is slowly dissipating along with a growing trust in you. There are many factors that are contributing to this confidence... the fact that it's rather easy to get that little bit of everyday stash with just one phonecall and also the very example that we have survived this long already.(W)

Thank you that I exercised yesterday and didn't even plan it! And a good one at that because my whole body's aching... and specific parts quite intensely as well. Also, the 'exercise' was watched and enjoyed by my friends whom praised me for a job well done so that was pleasurable to me.(E)

Thank you that there's enough food for one more meal later, which makes me happy because I like that there's always makan available. The food is rather heaty though so I am drinking a lot of water now, nearly done with a whole bottle already which is of course good for detox either way even if I wasn't heaty.(E)

Thank you that I have already registered for the HK site and will soon be uploading the full proposal to a solid gateway to investors. I have hopes for this one and despite any misgivings on my part due to our own debts issues, am sure that something can be worked out as long as this part of the bargain, getting the investor, is settled.(F)

It was nice talking to Beryl and having her understand that part of me which I find most important for a good friend to - my metaphysical concepts and theories.(A)

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"Olah" Ascend

Dear Lord,

Thank you for Isaac, this great love of mine, who will give up anything just because I want it. It's lovely to be loved by someone who truly loves me like that. He doesn't even notice that he's giving up that something because he loves me so much. I am truly blessed. (2Cups)

Thank you that I do not need to go to our partner's place today to do the HBO work. The reason behind this is actually what I am most thankful for because it does mean that there is no mad rush that I truly did not intend anyway. And it is also because of the reason behind it that I am excited and happy about as that completes the story of how we have income coming in now. (+World)

Thank you that you've made Isaac so happy and less fearful now. We celebrated yesterday with a meal out. And celebrated the good news from the investors with our own individual kicks. We did this despite the reducing small which signifies our trust in the universe and the knowledge of the victory that is to be dramatised. (=Chariot)

Thank you for this tower we are growing through at the moment, the 5 pentacles and all its uncertainties has shown us firsthand how much we are in your favour if we only try. It is this tower that is bringing about the transformation that we so desire, the opening of the third eye, the absolute ability to manifest at will. (+5Pentacles)

Thank you for the gifts of new e-books given to me as well as the lesson on activating the third eye. (=6wands)

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"sekhel" intellect

Dear Lord,

Thank you that despite his mood, Isaac was still sweet enough to make lunch for me. I should give him some space as he works through this trying period to find some sense of what to do. Thank you that I know he always pulls through and makes something out of nothing for us.

Thank you that I have hope that there are news flying towards me, knocking at my door that will be cause for celebration. I shall check all my mails and do some calls with that very hope. This will keep my fire burning. This will keep us alive. I know there's something behind unopened doors.

Thank you that I still have hope in times like these. Thank you that I am in the act of allowing. And because I am, I have even more hope that everything will work out well. Then whenever I get upset about Isaac's defeatist attitude, I can remember the first thank you and just allow him to be.

Thank you that we did get something after all, it was good Isaac brought the top along. And perhaps it is alright to not get the rest for we might need it at another time. There is no reason to fear. We have not played all our cards yet and we are not dying.

And I am happy that K liked my writing. It's nice to have connected.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"hatzlaha" success

Dear Lord,

Thank you that D has answered to the affirmative albeit not the full deal that we had imagined. In fact, we had thought he was going to beat around the bush for much longer so it's truly wonderful that he's delivering what we know he can. I can see that this development is definitely created by me in my own growing conviction of the entire project.

Thank you that I had such a great dream. It is symbollic of how he has learnt to harness his power and in turn is symbollic of us as a couple, how we have learnt to harness our powers. I've always known that I was a truly magnetic person and has a special energy beyond the norms of the average person.

Thank you that I remembered to save while editing yesterday like as though I knew that the trial period was ending. It was truly a miracle because I don't usually edit and save at the same time. Thank you for helping me to stop thinking and just flow yesterday. And how great that I've actually finished editing yesterday night.

Thank you that we have even more leads now what with the appearance of Y, my suspicion that S might have something for me and that growing idea that there are really a lot of people that I have access to which I have not tapped onto yet. In fact, our first list isn't even used up yet.

It was also really nice that I cooked a meal for me. It was delicious...

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

Isaac

Dear Lord,

Thank you that I's still talking to G. This bodes well and I am glad for it since it seems the meeting with K was only mediocre. In fact, I came back quite early the day when he met K according to my impression. I am also glad that Q is there because if they are talking this long when Q is there it does seem pretty positive.

Thank you for the delicious meal I've just had and that it was suitable for my body's constitution. Thank you also that it helped with the spell because it was technically gourmet-styled food. Thank also for teaching me that I have to open and seal spells.

Thank you that G was nice enough to send I home. It's really good that he's back early so that he can exercise like how he wants to and still sleep early to go collect his salary from Shalom tomorrow. I am glad that he's so motivated and looked so happy when he came back.

Thank you that it seems the meeting went well although I have not gotten the minute details down yet. Overall it's definitely from I's beaming demeanour that is giving me the feeling that the appointment went well and truly his happiness says it all. I wouldn't need anything more concrete to define it as such.

Such is I's power...

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"Keneh Bosem"

Dear Lord,

Thank you that the aircon is fixed and we were not asked to play a part at all. That makes me feel like A and J are so nice to us, takes care of us. I mean J is always checking on me and giving me advice and stuff. Where I would not like it before, now it feels good because they absolutely do not expect anything back.

Thank you that we don't quite have to go for B's thing later because we already have something on. However, I do feel like I should try to chip in for her present since she was so lovely to me on my birthday. Or I should at least get her something myself.

Thank you that S was there at I's meeting and she could possibly be a big help. I shall send them a further edited copy of the proposal later. She and K. And it was through this entire thing also that I am seeing that I am too resistant. I am forgetting to allow.

Thank you that I brought back the stuff safe and sound. And also that later we are bringing it by bus and early enough not to need to worry. I am also thankful that the amount gotten is substantial enough according to I. It is good for us this period that the peeps we are getting it for are not local otherwise it will be hard to make.

It was fantastic to not have to cook anything else but rice since J had dishes for me. Cool...

Om Namo Hanumaantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"Esther" Celeste

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the lovely meal Isaac cooked for me. It is so nice to have someone who cares for you like that and ask for nothing in return. I am so very, very blessed to have a gem of an other half willing to brave through anything for me albeit this time it was just a home-cooked meal... :)

Thank you for the 13 wonders... like oh my gawd never expected that tremendous luck. And all that it means and brings. My cards were incredible throughout the game the moment I just decided to create a true desire. What confirmation on the laws of the universe, what magic!

Thank you for the bettering of the proposal. I can feel it coming to a grandoise life now. And I am excited to send the full version to Toachiat and all once it is complete. I shall do it step by step so I do not get overwhelmed. However, I shall also not procrastinate in between this system either.

Thank you for the dough that came in. It's really interesting how accurate the tarot is and how many secrets can be derived from the intimate knowledge of its ways. Please continue to heighten my esoteric knowledge and application. It is truly all I ever really want.

It's also really nice that Daryl has it without too much bother. I like that...

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"Sheva" 7

Dear Lord,

Thank you there was food in the home when we came back because I was too hungry to cook. And thank you that they offered and we had two generous helpings each. Also, it's nice that the house if full of food because this means that we can eat at any time if we just ask.

Thank you that there's nobody home so Isaac can watch some television. He's pretty stressed up about the whole negative side of everything and I need him to chill out and feel good again. Just being home and relaxing here for a quick change will rejuvenate his spirits. I shall go apologise to him for not being understanding just now. He deserves to hear something soothing like that.

Thank you that nobody's home now so I can snack on all the new year goodies I want. Okay now they are back but I am quite happy with all I have eaten already. It really satisfied some innate craving for the lunar celebration, for my own incessant need to eat and for the lack of snacking for a long while.

Thank you that we have an offer to go out to Clarke Quay tonight and on a normal day, the idea of which would be lovely. But truth betold, on a normal day I will probably be enjoying a bout of gambling at somebody's house somewhere. Funny enough today's offer is the one I would definitely take today on a normal day when normal just means that one major thing that I lack.

Thank you that nobody's home now so Isaac and I could have moments on the sofa outside together just now that felt so romantic and lovely in a home all to ourselves on our 7th year anniversary.

"shabtai" saturn

Dear Lord,

Thank you that Isaac is home with me today. Because of his presence we can actually gather ourselves together and focus on the proposal. After all, the few things we can work on only includes that and the networking of potential investors. The latter has been worked on today so now it just requires the former.

Thank you that we have this equipment to even do the former at all and in spite of not having another for contact, our link right here at home is helping with that aspect albeit unknowingly, which is all the better for us. Thank you that this is working fine and even if it doesn't, all important documents have been safely stored in another.

Thank you that Isaac had a meeting with Andrew earlier that went really well. Now it's a definite thing that we have help to look for investors and so nice that we can brief another person on our business proposal. Because of the immediacy of that, we are both massively doing up the plan now and it is really coming along nicely.

Thank you that Jolene gave us sesame seeds which I then used to create chicken sesame soup. It was useful because otherwise our meal would have been pretty pathetic. So we had a great meal and I am still watering down after it right this moment. Too much heat! :)

Thank you for the smokes... will abstain on saturday for your sake.

"hatzalah" relief

Dear Lord,

Thank you that Isaac obviously has a slot today because if not he would have been home by now. That bodes well for it's usually unlikely to get one on a wednesday and this means that it's meant to be this way for the line tomorrow. I shall be ready with the fantastic plan by the time he comes home to complement his doing.

Thank you that there was extra food for me earlier for the food itself was insufficient to be a good meal. I know the potatoes were meant for me because I have been craving for it and here it comes. Manifestations are flying in quicker than I imagine now and at the most appropriate moments.

Thank you for the whole house to myself, the silence and the stillness is so very healing. I shall head out soon to make myself a cup of coffee and enjoy further the tranquility of a moment in the home. And then perhaps see what else is there to derive pleasure out of before the time comes to an end.

Thank you that we were invited to more than one Chinese New Year activity which makes it nice to think that we will have something to do if let's say we were here. We can also have reunion albeit not with family but this people are now like out family and we are thinking of adopting them in future.

Thank you that I have realised that the sagg is due to cell and nothing like how I have so crazily imagined!

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"ata mad'him" you're amazing

Dear Lord,

Thank you so much for movement towards getting an investor from an unexpected source. And perhaps the only source so far in terms of true solid face to face. After all, all other lines of contact have been kind of broken and cybermail is less personal and so less tangible a development in any case.

Thank you that Isaac and I are close once more and there is thus that greater positivity and certainty in the air about our relationship with source. This also means that we are listening more intently and being more open to the manipulation of the universe towards the goals we desire.

Thank you that Isaac stayed at home today because this was why a lead was created to getting an investor. In his one day of staying home, he created a stronger lead than in the whole week of my being at home, so today was definitely a sign from you that good things will come if we allow.

Thank you that although we had no more food, today of all days Jolene wanted to do seaweed crackers which meant she had available egg yolks to give me. Because it would have been odd to ask her for eggs, you actually created a perfect situation to get it without asking. Amazing!

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"Esh" Fire

Dear Lord,

Thank you that it came as that's always good news. It always gives me relief when it arrives and also heralds the end of any over-emotional state or at least explains the situation. It explains away also the irrational insecurities that arise during the period which helps to ease the lack of flow in my mind with greater understanding.

Thank you that we woke up early the whole week. This has enabled us to utilise our days well and keep us in good humour. And especially at this hour when we so much feel the urgency to focus on our task at hand. It was good to have the foundation for it in terms of time. If we did not even get this part right it would have been a major distraction towards our goal.

Thank you that Joshua seemed alright when we rejected him yesterday and even tried contacting us after Stephanie left. We do feel really close to him now and treasure his input in our lives but this subject of friends brought something to my attention yesterday as well. And that is that it has been a major source of distraction to my motivated self and that is something to note and work upon.

Thank you that we generally know that the sheer feeling of lack is no more as it can be easily settled at any point on any count and the security from the supportive family around us is truly a gift from you. Now we can just focus on the investor and the bigger buck and it is a blessing to have this sense of stability in times like these.

Thank you that I have a new inspiration for the weekend and it is great to feel alive with new activity in my soul. There is the abrasive quality to it at the onset but it is nicely settling in with the rest of my sacred space already and soon it will be harnessed to the best of its stuff. Gracias!

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"Mishpakha" family

Dear Lord,

Thank you that I woke up on time to help Isaac out getting ready in the morning. I really liked doing that and it was lovely to spend time with him before he left. Also, I enjoy waking up early and having the whole morning to myself. It has been truly peaceful and fruitful. And bodes well for the whole week.

Thank you that the sleep was very comfortable and it seems I might not have grinded during the night. I am looking forward to catching some zzzz later as well. And I am truly thankful that I have the luxury of that as compared to other people. But I will be sure to not abuse this privilege by doing enough work first. It is nice to feel motivated by positivity.

Thank you that Isaac had enough rest as well and woke up on time naturally. It was nice to see him happy and peaceful in the morning and I know he felt good about me helping him prepare. It is truly lucky that the advertisement was on for today for if not it would be inadvisable to travel down just to find out and also to even find something fitting to our specific criteria.

Thank you that there was food for us in the morning although we have not stocked up enough. It is truly a blessing this home we have now and this family we are living with. They are just so generous and happy. It is wondrous. I would like to do more for them if I can. They are too good.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"tsomet lev" attention

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the smoothness in which we managed to get the van as well as the new home. It will all really help. People are very willing to help out it seems, and these are people whom I thought could be rather particular yet it went so easily. Meng Seng did not even try to go into detail which makes me even more hopeful regarding discussing a later arrangement.

Thank you that there was so quick a response to my ad regarding the vouchers and there is almost a certainty that the deal can be easily done. Also, with the van tomorrow we can easily manage deals with our unwanted items as well. Generally I am just glad that we are definitely guaranteed an increase tomorrow.

Thank you that Isaac and I are so good and close now. We are totally flowing with each other except for some points which teaches and contrasts and get us even closer still. One of the best feelings in the world, to have Isaac, to be so in love, to feel its power. We are invincible now in this state - not pushing it, nor rushing it nor imagining it but flowing in accordance to what the universe tells us.

Thank you that we are nearly done packing. It will be easy tomorrow to just pack up the clothes in the cupboard while Isaac goes to pick up the van. Also I don't think it will be that bad carrying the stuff down tomorrow and if it does get tiring I will ask a friend to come over and help.

It has been nice to enjoy this last night here with whisky and cigar.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"etmol" Yesterday

Dear Hanuman,

Thank you that Calixtus and I are talking again. He sounds fine. I am glad. I know things will always be fine. That is normalcy to me and normalcy always rules. Soon I will be with my whole family again and we will be happy and smiling and Isaac will have learnt to open his heart chakra by then and we will also be in a better state of things.

Thank you that everywhere seems quiet regarding the workers' thing. After all, Tan would have said something if it's blown up. And Carrick would have called Isaac if something went to the home. Also when Isaac went back last nothing was brought up to that effect so generally we are really blessed to be saved from any catastrophy of that sort.

Thank you that despite my discomfort at not being adequate at One-North the other day, Khalid seems to like us very much. That is a good sign at least. Also, I am also glad for the learning experience to be fully myself. Because I have not really understood this feeling of inadequacy I feel in these circumstances and perhaps this is my time to learn. After all, I will be leaving soon.

Thank you that I feel totally good with my friends now. I have let go of the awful feelings I had about their behaviour and know it to just be human nature and human failings now. It is great to not take personally anything at all because it means I am free. And it is easier to focus on what truly matters for growth like this. Detachment is definitely so very vital.

"hayeshu'ah derekh" the way of salvation

Dear Lord,

Thank you that Eway seems keen to help, any help is truly a consolation right now. And generally I can sense his friendship is a strong one and it is comforting to feel so. I suppose I understand him even better now about The Issue because someone that feels safe and secure will surely make someone who is vulnerable and insecure feel good towards life.

Thank you that Khalid called today. This makes it easier to make the offer to him and that will be handy for us. At least this helps me a little to not look back... because there is something to look forward to, to hope for. And that is important because looking back is facing the wrong direction on that stream of consciousness. And I will then be heading towards where I do not want to be.

Thank you that I have spoken to Melissa with quite hopeful results. That leaves greater possibility to the achievement of the most important plan. And she does seem to have the contacts necessary to complete this quest. Speaking to her is also significant in my life because it heralds a daringness about me towards my goal. That I would just go for it and spread the word without overtly caring about everything else, the everything else that always stumps me.

Thank you that I am getting sleepy which means that my listening to the voice of the universe has steadily brought me back to the normal sleeping pattern. I will continue to heed this voice and definitely will go to bed shortly after this piece. I will not allow the sun to rise before my head hits the pillow this time and tomorrow will have even more hope to give.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"Mazal" Luck

Dear Lord,

You have been so great, giving me the gift of security always in the nick of time. And everything I have sought after and missed was not meant for me while something else was, in which you helped me to find soon after. Right now I can not yet see what will be the method in which the abundance will come, but I know that I am blessed by you so it is assured. After all, out of nothing came a hundred, and a thousand has been settled, so it is not hard to believe in more.

My 28th birthday just came and went, and no matter what my good intentions are, my heart always takes note of the day and hopes that the people around me gives some attention to it as well. And there was enough and towards the rightful things like my talents and my mind. While all the time I felt a little jaded, a little discomforted and a little old. I know I would not have felt these things if someone in particular wasn't there, with all the manipulations of perspection and the sublimal messages.

But I must have been beautiful - otherwise warnings would not be necessary to give. And connections less felt. It seemed to me all the other movements were rather superficial... and if I was part of that, I would have not rejoiced as much in the glory of my maturity, that self-knowledge, but would be subjected to the knowledge of other people. I mean it was not as if that someone in particular was given regard in the aspects that most matter. In fact, it distracted from the image that was attractive, which completes my suspicion on the hindrance of beauty.

The idea of that form of luckiness, where is derived from insecurity to attention-seeking behaviour isn't luckiness at all but over-confidence. Because the 'smoothness' is affected by the approbation of others and could be smashed easily - like the time with the light fellow. And when smashed, is very embarrassing. And if embarrassing, is totally out of point to luck. I think this 'luck' is at the end of the day, not luck but plain, insecure lashes. So I should not find it a vibrational drawing of luck but a feeding of the inner world where its empty and dark... a pitiable state.

However, there are things to learn... I am definitely to take care of myself better. Especially about the rest. I think I am going to go nap a bit more now because I do need more rest. The many, many days of topsy turvy sleeping patterns and no sleep has taken so much on my body. I should rest whenever I can. And today's our off day before we begin proper tomorrow so I should try to zzzzzzz. Anyway I must thank you so much Lord, for your guidance of my direction and for helping me ease the mind from the bothers of my birthday night.

Please continue to lift the bane off... thank you again for the gift today.

"b'rucha" blessed

Dear Lord,

I invoke thee to our aid. I invoke thee to our comfort. Thank you for all your blessings.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,
Celestine

"ani" I

Dear Lord,

I am you and you are me. And I will deliver.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa
Celestine

"shakach" forget

Dear Lord,

I pray that the miracle has come.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"Nesya" Miracle of God

Dear Lord,

I pray that the miracle has happened. My resolution is now more there than before. I know everything's going to be fine. There is no other way but up. I do not care. I will handle this. I will. I will not allow anything untoward to happen to us. First and foremost I will find an investor. I will go all out. There will be nothing else on my mind other than that tomorrow.

I will be strong for Isaac. He deserves this and it is true that it was my fault. I will not go there again. I must take charge. Something has changed. And I am going to be a survivor not a weakling. I shall not succumb to self-pity. And maybe I will discontinue the site. For perhaps in some way I am only dramatising the situation and not taking the situation by its horns. That was my main problem with religion in the first place and I am wondering how I should place everything now.

I need some time to myself. To reflect, to feel and gather myself together. I need to write in the other blog. I need to really, really write. I have not done that in awhile. I need to assert myself. I need to see clearly. I am lost in esoteria. And its not that I am giving up on it. That will be ridiculous for me. But I need to join the physical to the astral.

Alright I shall return when my thoughts have been released in a relentless stream of consciousness.

"Toe-Dah" thank you

Dear Lord,

I pray that we are saved and can move on from this point. We have always been so incredibly blessed. I see it now. If it wasn't for this time I wouldn't have known this so well as I do now. Please continue keeping us in your good graces and have us face the right direction in the wheel of fortune. Thank you again for all that you have given us.

I don't know if we will receive the gift that I hope for so very much but either way I know we will be fine because I truly see now that we have always been fine, through your grace. And with this comes this immense confidence that somehow or another everything will be alright. I thank you for this confidence at this time. It really truly helps so very, very much in our hour of need.

I think I want to try doing something really dramatic for you Lord so that I can go into that state to usher in the moment of confirmation for tomorrow's result. I shall ask whether this is advisable. And the extent of which I want to abstain, I have never tried it before, so I am a bit apprehensive. *** Okay, Isaac and I have decided to do it. Thank you Lord for your guidance.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"shoresh" root

Dear Lord,

I pray that my prayers have been answered and I am now free. And I see that the step to doing this lies in already feeling free. I do feel that but it fluctuates so I just have to allow it to set. Vibrating at 'free' will be vibrating correctly. So is vibrating at 'easy'. We should always do everything like it's easy. Shefa! Shefa! Shefa!

Imma trying to figure out why from the state of ease anyone will fall from grace. It definitely has to do with some larger force distracting one out from the state of ease. And this is usually some other person whom you know, love or hate. For some people, that distracting force does not even need to be someone who is significant, just knowing and wanting that person to like you will do. Ah! I see now. Ego.

Ego distracts from Self. Self-identification isn't the same as being rooted. Being rooted just means connecting to the physical and it has to be balanced. That's why the most beautiful earthy people are truly the glorified farmers and natives with their soulful philosophy and understanding of nature. Connecting to the earth, reading the secrets of nature and life. Shefa! Shefa! Shefa!

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"Yod" -the primal vibration of the universe

Dear Lord,

I pray with great earnestness that my prayers are answered and I am now free. I have promised to return to something but as you are not enthusiastic about a contribution to you, I will think on it till I find something good. But meanwhile I will do what you ask by working on my lucid dreaming skills. Shefa! Shefa! Shefa!

I know that I must do whatever I can to vibrate in the same colour as the thing I desire. So I shall give to whomever I meet to create the feeling of lot, keep my home maintained to generate the feeling of luxury and be harmonious with one and all such that the feeling is one of ease. Shefa! Shefa! Shefa!

Besides manipulating the surrounding energies in this way, I am also attempting to balance out my chakras such that I am attracting to myself the right karmic patterns. My sacral and root chakra isn't opened so I have to open them so that my heart chakra will be less active and my chakras will overall be in sync with each other. Shefa! Shefa! Shefa!

I am determined to vibrate in the right way. I am transcending the ways of doubt and inaction. Everything is "already", nothing is "to be". My written words are magic and my conscious creation. I am also the water bearer so I can literally change the composition of liquids to aid all your quests (alchemy). Time shall take its own measure though so impatience shall never do. Shefa! Shefa! Shefa!

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"barukh" blessed

Dear Lord,

I pray that my prayers have been answered and everything's great now. Thank you that I had the inspiration to develop the chakra knowledge further and I know see that certain blockages are hindering the quick manifestation of my true desires. Also I have realised that my main strong point is my interest in the occult and that could be made into something.
Chant: I banish lack with gift and now I am full and true.

I will continue with the saturday smoke fast and as that has been going great, the tuesday meat fast. I will not attempt to sacrifice anything else until I got the second one down. Thank you for the clarity after the abstinence of today. We now have some ideas flowing but we do need your blessings on this.
Chant: I banish nought with lot and now I am rich and sweet.

Isaac will brainstorm and research on our newfound ideas and I beseech you to be with him tomorrow while he does this. Please also give him the motivation and strength to keep going despite any past influences. And for myself, be with me throughout the day and help me to dispel any worry from material reality with true need not to.
Chant: I banish poverty with generosity and now I am abundant and wealthy.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"ladeornmc" wealth

Dear Lord,

I pray that I am out of this difficult situation and now I am reborn again, free to make all the plans I have always wanted to make and create that earthly state of the ether to harness the peace within. It is the vibration of already, now, being, rather than want, desperation, hope. Already, already, already.

After this I shall go bask in all the luxuries of my living quarters and further create the zen-like state of the astral here on earth. This is to build up the vibration that I need to solidify the prayer. I have already done the work emails and cannot do more till we get the list from Kel. The proposal and mock up has also been sent out already so what more I can do will just be to look for more opportunities online later. And I shall do so during work time. So all in all, I am feeling good about everything that I can physically do at the moment. Which will aid the vibration. Best of all is that I have time alone in my beautiful room right now with the quiet to ease me into me. Now, now, now.

I am excited about later where I am going out to have some fun, the sacrifice that we have made in abstaining from these activities for so long will be broken tonight and an exchange will be complete. I believe that everything's great and everything will always be fine and hence I shall dismiss it all now to forget it in my conscious such that it is in my subconscious power. And I am so blessed that no matter what, things are always great... so I'll just be, be, be.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"shefa" abundance

Dear Lord,

Saturn came to me today and he said he will reward us for our efforts. I am just waiting and looking out for the salvation. Help me to keep my patience and my meditation. I must continue vibrating at the right frequency. Abundance, abundance, abundance.

I pray that our physical situation has been lifted. I'll offer up what I have promised to Saturn as well, a warm home, clean, neat and full. I shall go do my part after this or as Isaac desires, our work. And I will remember, abundance, abundance, abundance.

I am starting to feel really sleepy and lethargic. Where are you Lord Hanuman? I need your motivation and energy. Please stay with me. I know Saturn is here and he is cold but everything has its place and there is a reason for everything so I will just trust that it will all fall rightly into motion. Abundance, abundance, abundance.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"lalechet im hazerem" go with the flow

Dear Lord,

Today's lesson is about detachment. One improvement I have definitely noted ever since the rudrakshas is that I am less neurotic than before. I am returning to my old self. Just Feeling, not overly Thinking. And I must thank you. There was a point where I thought I would go mad, like how my brother did. There seem no other way because I could not control the boundaries of my mind and there was no grounding it. All my brother need is truly some grounding. I think he has it now. I pray for him to always have it. Being Taurean, he truly needs a good home.

Soon I will be entirely free from being overtly involved in the mind. I think my bane was always the need to understand every single little thing possible and although that was also my gift, it made me extremely susceptible to becoming my brother as I try to understand him in his madness. And then how I am even without his presence in my life, so intense in the search for truth, so deeply intellectual in perspective, it was easy to go nuts.

I don't think there was anything wrong with my mind's work. What went wrong was the moment things became systematic rather than emotional. And emotion went out of me altogether. I was then detached in the worst way possible and what resulted was extreme nervousness and mounting flightiness. I was already such since I was a child. I wasn't one of those children who cried when they started the first day of school. In fact, I think I was the only child who didn't cry the whole of primary school. But I was whimsical, active, wild and naughty. That strain of emotional showing was fine but the endless return of the adult one where every thought led to nothing scared me to a nervous frenzy.

I thought nothing could save me but something did. And I realised that was more important than any material security. So I am very blessed. The whole turn of events ever since the craziness started helped me to find the flow back again. And here I am nearly at a close. I thank you Lord. You helped me with activity. You helped me with friends who reminded me how to flow. And now I have come full circle for I have returned to my own sense of flow. Not questioning it no longer. Questioning everything. But just being. And choosing my being. And knowing that my choice is the only truth for it heralds the truth.

PS: I pray that I have been delivered from the present worldly situation.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"Tzedakah" Charity

Dear Lord,

Thank you for helping me win yesterday. I am quite excited about tomorrow's draw and my intention is to continue efforts until I get some movement here. Perhaps even just Isaac contributing something will make the difference. I will go convince him to do so once I am done with this entry.

I feel like watching Sherlock Holmes later but that again is focusing on enjoyment rather than meditation. Especially at this point. We can only consider if somebody else asks us. And meanwhile I'll just keep on being generous to everybody I meet. I will try to give each person something every day. And even this I will do it with total absorption(kleetah).

I will begin with Isaac first by making him a cup of tea. I already told him that I will make when he wants it later. Now I shall go humour my friends. I am not sure what I can do for them. But I shall let it flow. This will be my next effort in our exchange of energies. Please be with me and answer my prayers soon.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"El" Strength

Dear Lord,

I am in a weird state, lost because I am not sure what life is going to bring to me. It is exciting but then it could be familiar as well, and if it is the latter, it wouldn't be very good. And this time since it's so much worse than before, it could mean real doom. But I am honestly sick of it. I wouldn't have my mind going there. It is stupid. Everything is easy. I just need to flow. Be with me Lord. Be with me.

I am going to be confident. Everything has an answer even if it's not perfect to my desire at the initial stage. There's always so much to be thankful for. Like I am very thankful that the workers issue isn't raging on at the moment to my knowledge. And I am very thankful that we will be replenishing some dough today. I am also thankful that I get to have peace and quiet and time to myself right now.

I will work out every stress one at a time. I have to simplify, clarify, focus. What I promised you the other day about keeping to schedule, I have not managed to zoom in entirely. Please forgive me. My mind was messy. I will attempt to do so again starting now. But it wasn't that bad anyway. I was flowing and saying yes to the events you presented me.

I have to be more positive. What I did not like about my old faith is the way the believers allowed themselves to become superstitious, weak and self-righteous. I shall not become the same in my growing understanding of energy fields. I shall not be this whimpering person no more in my writings to you. I will write like whatever I desire is already here and everything's perfect.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

"Chaverim" Friends

Dear Lord,

I know Saturn said everything will be fine, but we didn't win again so I did lose faith. And things are getting more and more dire. We are trying our very best at the moment and it does not seem to be good enough. I am seeing death and destruction in so many directions and I am afraid. I know I should not succumb to this weakness. I should be strong, positive, confident. But I just want to be vulnerable now in this moment that I am speaking to you. So that a strong connection will be formed and as I continue to write, a sense of rebirth can be truly created.

It's been more than 40 days for both the 7 mukhi and the 8 mukhi. But there have been no real results. I asked the 7 for security and the 8 for miracles and to date, things are still very unstable and rather than having real luck, we have probably the worse end of the stick. Isaac went down to the car to head down to sell off my old laptop and then he realised the battery's dead because he left the car on since yesterday. We already have the demerit points and the hefty fine for this borrowed car. It's all bad news for our poor friend who lent us the car and a really stressful time for us to add to our stress.

The good part is that we have really good friends. Isaac called Kelvin to come help start the car and he's like over so quickly. And that Eway even lent us the car in the first place. Then tonight we have a dinner at Daniel's. They dunno how much all these things are helping us because no one knows the real extent of our situation or that we even have a situation, except us. It's a scary predicament to be so alone. And sometimes I suspect that if we actually did share the truth of what's happening, instead of helping us like how they are doing it all so comfortable now, they will shun us instead because it's too much trouble.

So now we can survive yet another day. Tomorrow there are confessions to be made to Eway and I dunno how bad that will be, but that's tomorrow. I am really learning to live day by day, moment by moment and it's a grand lesson truly. I am wondering whether I should go for the dinner after our meeting later or do a mahjong session. We need more cash. And there's enough to play. Maybe I cannot win others but I can win in mahjong? I shall ask the tarot again. Lord, please get us out of this situation. Please give me some sign that things are going to improve. Any real progress at all. I know the Gentleman's Club thing seems to be looking up and up all the time but I dunno if the rental can wait till it kicks off.

I shall continue to trust. There is always hope. And I will follow a strict timetable the rest of today in offer to you. Please be with me. Thank you.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

Charging the Sigil

Dear Hanuman,

I am trying to charge my sigil. Please help me to do so in the process of this prayer. I really need this manifestation to come to pass. The desire that I sent out on the blue moon of yesterday has not returned to me and there is so much uncertainty in the air despite my own inner calm. I think my calm is sensitive though because Isaac's edginess gets to me fairly easily. Or maybe it's 'cos the smoke abstinence has started. And I am not exactly ready. But I will keep to it. It will be hard however. So many different things to concentrate on, or not concentrate on.

The same request I have asked of you such that I am praying to you everyday is the one the sigil is for and so for the magic of last night. Please deliver us from this material situation, help us to transcend the entire problem and be free from it forever. We are truly alone in this matter and have no one to ask but you. Can you please take us into your comforting arms? Show us that our idealism and philosophies are incredible but true.

So now, charge the sigil and then help me to forget it. Help it to be in my subconscious such that the manifestation may come to pass swiftly, easily and beautifully. I need to make this significant because things are getting dire. I cannot think all these negative things though, so as I forget, let me forget anything negative as well. Let me just feel good and happy, peaceful and comfortable.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine

Ah-Vahr no more

Dear Lord,

Thank you for the wondrous New Year's eve. It was incredibly beautiful on the nicest beach in Singapore, next to a new pub where the style was perfect for the night I wanted, and enough friends to call it a party and not too many such that it was impossible to have moments with each of them well. And then the fabulous blue moon and the magical sky, the meditation, the spell, the lightsticks and the dancing.

I found my stillness again yesterday and it directly opposes ego which clarifies everything for me. The stillness teaches me everything - what to do now, what to do next, what is happening, why it is happening, what I want, how to get it, how not to get it. And most of all, the stillness helps the presence of each moment to be felt more strongly. Hence I have enjoyed every single moment of the night, savoured the symbollic meaning of everything, gathered all I can gather and heard the first song of the morning. And here I am going at the moment of the Now, enjoying myself in the recording of one beautiful night.

I have been trying to understand the narrowing down of things to harness genius, and I have seen that until my first prayer is answered, I should be focusing and praying on it everyday. I have said that I will write you everyday till I am delivered from this current situation, and now I shall add that one more - I shall not smoke until I have my first meal of the day after I wake. This will synchronise well with my desire to quit smoking by my coming birthday. It's going to be good.

Thank you that Jolene was so quick to respond to my request. And here we are still alive. You have never let us down, not once. We are still here. Tomorrow we will need to let go of some items. Things are tacky but then again, in my lethargic movements, everything's tacky. You will keep us safe, I know. You will keep us safe.

They want us to go play game with them. We half want to and half don't want to. We want to 'cos the game is fun and it is a friday after all. We don't want to 'cos we are tired and enjoy this sleeping pattern now thus not intending to ruin it in any way. Also, it is best we conserve our resources at this crucial point. Guide me to do what is best. Keep the stillness within me. I need you.

Om Namo Hanumantaay Aaveshay Aaveshay Swaahaa,

Celestine